The Cloven Hoof, Issue 114

The Cloven Hoof

Autumn, XX Anne Satanas Copyright © 1985 CE. by the Church of Satan, P.O. Box 210082 San Francisco, Ca 94121 U.S.A.

Vol. XVIII, #3 114th issue

Time To Start Kicking Ass

Anton Szandor La Vey

Lest we forget, Satan is the "accuser", the challenger of moldy opinion and tiresome concepts. Now that Christianity is in real trouble, it seems to be pulling all its old chestnuts out of the fire and creating the most irrational witch hunt ever. Indeed, one wonders about the unquestioning gullibility of not only the general public, but specifically those in positions of authority and accredited expertise. Hysterics are not only heeded, but encouraged. Children are enticed, not by Satanism but by authorities to concoct damaging lies about their own parents. "Satanic" trappings and symbols are to be found in every room, where convenience demands. And any star, circle, triangle, hexagram or octagon is a Satanic symbol. So are rock recordings (especially played backwards). The list of accursed objects grows: stained glass, ceramic cats, a solid color bathrobe, leather clothes. And if a Satanic Bible is discovered, it is proof that its reader perpetrates every atrocity known to man. If challenged by provable contradictions to the foregoing, hysterical imperative regains its slimy, pulpy foundation by declaring that the exonerated are "not real Satanists"-- not the "classical" (translate = "Christian") variety who actually perpetrate such heinous acts. We are to assume that somewhere a body of "classical" Satanists exists, stealing babies, killing and molesting kids, chopping up animals, etc. simply on the strength that "they believe in evil rather than good; in the Devil, rather than God." The fact is, that such "Satanists" are discovered to be nuts by any name, jive artists lying as a cop-out to crimes, or repressed hysterics relating wild masturbatory fantasies. "Organized groups" can never seem to be found, because of their "secrecy." Nor can the bodies of their "sacrificial victims." But how they try--oh, how they try... A new profession has appeared, quite in keeping with increasing numbers of shaky egos and identities; that of "specialist in the research of the Satanic and occult", which is a fancy new name for a toned-down Hellfire and brimstone preacher. Anyone can hang out his or her shingle as one of these "experts" and it's even more effective if you happen to be an insecure asshole with some letters after your name, providing an opportunity to be a duly authorized, accredited, official liar..

It's apparent that at least some of the people need fear of Satanism to spice up their otherwise dull and unproductive lives. They'll accept the kind of crap that's being fed them because it makes them feel sanctified to do so. In other words, if they can't feel important, at least they can feel righteous. It takes no guts to crusade against a fashionably fiendish enemy.

We have been immensely successful; by bringing Satanism to the millions, we have drawn out the most mindless, gutless, strident elements of the crumbling parody that has become the ruins of Christianity. We have set up a social climate that has drawn forth the worst that traditional religion can produce. Now it's time to kick some ass. These remnants of festering Christianity have attempted to place us in a defensive position, when it is our position to demand answers for their irrational behavior. It's not a simple case of "giving Satanism a bad name" either. The antics of Satan-baiters can only succeed in obscuring any socially or humanistically redeeming qualities wrought by Christianity's two thousand year, venture. The pathetic fact is, that it gives Christianity a bad name. We make no claims of righteousness. Nor do we molest children or sacrifice animals. But it's open season on the kind of creeps who accuse us of doing so. For them, torture is too sweet. They know damned well, genuine Satanists don't perpetrate the type of acts of which they shriek. In running scared, they have become what has long been known to rational science. Each, in his or her own repressed vileness has become a "Satanophobe."

For centuries, "Satanism" has been a paper tiger, a smokescreen, a straw man - perpetuated for the vested interests of Christian dogma. There were never organized Satanists to come forth and challenge the convenient falsehoods. Sure, there were the Devil's advocates -- Tom Paine, Ben Franklin, Show, Twain, London, Wells, --you know who I mean -- but they were no threat (though Somerset Maugham boasted that his writings had set Christianity back one hundred years), When you get a few thousand kids at a rock concert cheering real Satanic symbols and giving the sign of the horns -- now THAT'S a threat! When a book written by a Satanist, for Satanists, is read, translated, and reread by millions of people-- now THAT'S a threat!

You, little squealing Christian creep, are correct in assuming that Satanism is dangerous. It's plenty dangerous, but not in ways you'd like it to be. Not because of any orgies, infant stealing, animal mutilation or other unimaginative titillations. It's dangerous, in that it encourages a little more originality, rather than herd mentality. Large masses of people who all act and think within a prescribed set of options are much easier to control. And exploit. Being a character can be dangerous to the economy. Satanism is very dangerous, in that it encourages strong relationships between two people, rather than mechanical adherence to programmed group activities. Loyalty to a mate or friend even a pet is more dangerous to a despotic regime, than priority enthusiasm directed to popular causes. Satanism is very dangerous, in that it advocates acquisition and conservation of enjoyable and useful artifacts of the past, rather than newness simply for newness' sake. A disposable society keeps 8 lot more $$ in circulation. In short, Satanism is costing some well-established interests some big bucks, while making megabucks for others. In fact, a war is being fought -- right now -- (but we won't get into that).

Not to change the subject, but if you think, frantic little Christian, that rock 'n roll, heavy metal, punk, etc. is Satanic and dangerous, it's only because it happens to be convenient as a target for your hysteria. Listen good, and squirm: If certain musical numbers were to be aired that were far more Satanic, you'd really have something to worry about, yet even you'd feel absurd crusading against them. It's easy to single out the Stanes, Beatles, Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Mötley Crue, Twisted Sister and all the rest for your asinine commentaries and backward masking droolings. But what about the Satanic music of Liszt (Mephisto Waltz), Wagner (Rienzi), Saint-Saens (Danse Macabre), Beethoven (Egmont), Mussorgsky (Night on Bald Mountain), Paganini (The Devil's Trill), Mendelssohn (A Midsummer Night's Dream) and on and on. Perhaps warnings are in order to protect young minds from the influences of certain composers, not to mention the artists who perform them. Stretching things, am I? I think not. Listen, little numbskull, to the music and lyrics of more contemporary craftsmen like Cole Porter, Rogers and Hammerstein, Jerome Kern. Listen to "Stay Down Here Where You Belong" by Irving Berlin, in which the Devil is depicted as a Good Guy who proclaims "You'll find more hate 'up there' than you will 'down below."And this, from the genius who gave us "God Bless America" and "I'm Dreaming of a white Christmas." And what about such tunes as "Get thee Behind Me Satan", "Old Devil Moon", "Satan Takes a Holiday", "Perfidia", "Temptation", "Taboo", and lest we forget Frankie Laine (or Edith Piaf) belting out Shanklin's "Jezebel." And you know what, little scuttling Christian? You can understand every word of those songs no need to read them on the back of the record jacket. And some of those lyrics would buckle your legs right out from under you, 'cause they're a lot more explicit than any of the new stuff. And worse of all -- the music is strong, melodic, and dynamic. If a performer were to do a "new" production of "Jezebel" or "Stay Down Here Where You Belong" at a rock concert, it could precipitate a Satanic revolution. Consider yourself lucky that for the time being, you can't really understand the lyrics being sung and Venom's music is little more than jet take-off roar. But things are changing.

I must now address myself to Satanists who view the new Dark Age with trepidation or alarm. By providing an overview, perhaps an overlooked awareness of our own past influence, current power, and future potential may be recognized. Don't take my word for it; just look around you. The record speaks for itself and prevailing conditions are the only documentation required. Satanism is, perhaps, most dangerous of all by the sudden impact of its very reason. As example, consider the amount of air time allocated to evangelists. One can turn on the TV at any time of the day or night and receive overtly Christian propaganda (translate anti-Satanic). On a lesser level, standard network fare ranges from "investigative reports" (anti-Satanic) through dramatic fictional presentations (anti-Satanic), "factual" news coverage (anti-Satanic), and "spiritually uplifting" specials (also anti-Satanic). Radio time and printed media are no different. The lower class the audience, the more irrational the pitch. But the main thing we're dealing with is sheer volume of propaganda.

As bait or a "grabber", Satanism is used with the formulaic regularity of a picture of Marilyn Monroe (when in doubt about whacking the slobs over the head to get their attention, when all else fails, either MM or Satanism will do the trick. Sort of like the twin attention grabbers of the twentieth century. Writer Leonard Lyons, after visting Somerset Maugham, described the omnipresent sigil of the Nine Unknown Men, which Maugham displayed on everything from entrance wall to ash trays, as "a TV aerial capped by a pronged nose cone, but it has no relation to the century's twin threats, television and missiles." [?]). Anyway, let's not overlook the obvious. Just suppose, that Satanism was given the media time and space enjoyed by our detractors? Or a tiny fraction thereof? When was the last time you saw a TV interview of a Satanist that lasted over five minutes. Usually a two hour filming segment winds up as thirty seconds of air time. Usually the questions are loaded and the answers are heavily edited (censored?) Usually an entire page of lurid, libelous crap contains a short paragraph about actual Satanism, if that much. How often I have seen my own picture used as a lead-in to an exploitive article bearing no resemblance to the very concepts I have set forth in no uncertain terms.

The greatest, most dangerous threat that Satanism poses, is that horror of all horrors: the truth about it known. (But it is being known and will be.) If one newspaper or magazine article simply allowed a Satanist to be quoted verbatim, without editorializing; If a Satanic in-depth TV interview (lasting a full hour) -- or more terrifying yet-- a regularly scheduled Satanic TV show of the magnitude of the dozens of flannel-mouthed evangelist's-- it would literally wipe them out overnight. You see, we have no real rivals. We hold a power so fearsome, that it cannot be afforded a voice. It must literally be stumbled upon (like The Satanic Bible) in order to be absorbed in an accurate form. If the truth about Satanic philosophy and practices were to be known to everyone capable of receiving it by way of a popular medium -- even if people didn't employ the mush between their ears any better than they already do, the novelty would be overwhelming! Conventional religion would suffer the fiercest blow of its existence. The emotional appeal of Satanism alone, has proven to capture an audience to the extent that no accompanying elucidation is even necessary. In itself, it's an impossible act to follow.

Yes, the power is in our hands. We are, more than ever, the accusers. It is our position-- our role to serve as tribunal to those who pretentiously play-act as nemeses. They are less than clowns in their mindless posturings, for a competent clown has a routine, a format, a characterization. The thought of answering to their "accusations", of defending our position must become an absurdity. Let's put them to the test. Let's interrogate. Let's demand the whys and wherefores of their silly hysterics. We must scourge their unreason with unrelenting and inquisitorial intensity. And show them the incredulous ridicule they deserve. They know their devil's are far more real than they have been taught, and will not succumb to mythic banishments, however sanctified. For the first time in history, there is nothing in their rule-books covering such contingencies. There is no antidote to logic which will stand up. What we are, their old teachers didn't anticipate, and they are now left holding the bag. And we all know what's in the bag, and its value. It's open season. That's it.

* * *

Recently a journalist approached us for an interview. Most journalists haven't. changed over the past twenty years, but we have. Being obvious that this particular fellow had his story already written, knew little or nothing of what we really are, and was acting out of purely prurient pursuits-- the telephone conversation went something like this: "Do you have rituals?" "Sure, what kind did you have in mind-- the $1,000.00, $2,500.00, or $5,000.00 ritual? They're held on a very personal basis, and catered to the needs of the individual." "Could I attend one?" "That wouldn't be very personal, then, would it? Somebody would sort of be getting gypped, wouldn't he?" "Don't you have any public rituals?" "We don't operate on volume--like a rock concert. Now look--what do you think one of those rock stars gets for a performance?-- a little show of Satanic fixtures and a great deal of decibels. They're doing, and clumsily, what we were doing twenty years ago with class." "But you're a church!?" "Yeah, a Satanic Church-- not out to save souls, reform, perform, or convert. Nor entertain." "Well, maybe we could just talk?" "Maybe." (End of conversation.)

* * *

Every so often we receive letters or solicitations from individuals in which, for reasons of either presumptuousness or benign role emulation, the Sigil of Baphomet is depicted as a personal or corporate logo. While we can give the benefit of the doubt in most cases, and presume that the correspondent is unaware of his faux pas it must be stated here that the Sigil of Baphomet is a copyrighted insignia, registered to the Church of Satan. Its likeness cannot be used without written permission from the Church of Satan, nor can it be commercially reproduced for profit without consideration of the Church of Satan. In essence, it is a corporate and religious logo, much as the symbols of Proctor and Gamble, McDonald's or ITT. Those currently using this symbol in their personal or business ventures without Church of Satan sanction are subject to prosecution.

Halloween, that joyous season in which the majority take on our guise, is fast approaching. Those of you contemplating "disguise" might choose one of the following options: pregnant nun, Pope John-Paul (in full leather), Jesus as a TV, Gene Scott, complete with pyramid headpiece, Tammy Bakkker "hooker look" doll that cries "real tears," Jerry Falwell in Blackface, etc.

Cloven Hoof subscriptions, renewals are due to this office no later than January 1, XXI A.S. Subscription renewals are as follows: Individual members $20.00, Couples $25.00. Renew now to avoid interruption of your subscription service.

Have a Hell of a Halloween!

¿NOV SHMOZ KAPOP?